Disappointment is a normal aspect of life, and it does not discriminate. Whether you are rich or poor, educated or not, young or old, disappointment happens. Perhaps you didn’t get the promotion you were banking on, or maybe you were not able to go to an event you really wanted to go to. Whatever the case, a sense of loss, disappointment, and defeat is the result.

Without such emotion we would not be able to truly savour the taste of victory or bask in the glow of accomplishment and success when it does happen. In many ways, it keeps us real, true, and humble — and can also keep us motivated.

So, when disappointment does happen, here is how to rise above that agony of defeat and keep moving forward:

Give yourself a break

So often, self-blame is the reason people can’t accept an outcome and move on. They obsess and ruminate over what they did or didn’t do that may have resulted in the negative result. Accept the notion that what is done is truly done and beating yourself up over things will not help you to move on.

Step back and gain some perspective

It is easy to stay mired in disappointment given that the emotion is so palpable. Try to step back by imagining the events playing out on a movie screen. Viewing it as a spectator rather than as a participant will help soften the blow and ease the raw emotion as there is some distance created between you and the event.

Do not personalise it

Rather than thinking it is something you did or didn’t do, consider alternative explanations. For example, if you didn’t land that raise you were hoping for, consider that there may be a reason that has nothing to do with you. Maybe there are budget restrictions, for instance.

Do not define yourself by it

Just because someone declined your invitation for a date, does not mean you are horrible or updateable. It means you are a person who goes after what you want, even when the outcome is not certain, and you can’t be everyone’s type. Or let’s say you didn’t do well in a race; it does not mean you are a bad runner. It means you didn’t have your best race day, that is all.

Be a problem solver

See any disappointment as an opportunity to evaluate your approach. What can you learn from the situation? How can you approach it next time to ensure a better outcome? Sometimes small changes in strategy can make a big difference in outcome.

Think about your strengths

So often in the face of disappointment people have the tendency to dwell on what they perceive as their weaknesses. Instead, think about what you are good at. What skills have yet to be tapped that might help pull you through next time?

Surround yourself with positive people

Who can you turn to in a time of need? Think about people in your life who are encouraging and make you feel good. Reach out to them and not the naysayers.

**Adapted from Thrive Global